Funny

An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful Lady. “I thought you said you … …

After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family. “Pastor,” Johnny says, “I heard … …

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says to himself with caution, “This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before.” So the … …

Little Susie spent the summer holidays on a pony farm in the Cotswolds Back home, she asked, “We all live together just like the animals, don’t we, Mummy?” “Yes, dear. … …

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my … …

An elderly woman went to her doctor, complaining about not being able to hear out of one ear. The doctor then took his penlight, looked in her ear, then took … …

A man ordered a voice-automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error. He got the car and became very proud of what the … …

A father waits for Little Johnny to come home from school. The son is an hour late. “Where were you?” asks the father. Little Johnny: “I helped a Granny cross … …

One morning, a rabbit walks into a butcher shop and says, ‘Hello, sir. Do you have any carrots?’ The barber responds, ‘Carrots? This is a butcher shop. We don’t sell … …

There were two snakes talking. The first one said “Sidney, are we the type of snakes that wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are … …