Funny

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber… He awoke before the Pearly Gates where Saint Peter said, “You … …

Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Little Johnny: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Little Johnny: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the … …

Teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him, Little boy: “Teacher are you … sleeping in class?” Teacher: “No I am not sleeping in … …

An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop: They … …

Teacher: “Jay,why are you down today?” Jay: “Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad is at the police station.” Teacher: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, dear. … …

A married couple in their 60’s are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. “I want to travel around the world with my darling husband” says wife. … …

An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says, “You re pretty good with … …

There were two snakes talking. The first one said “Sidney, are we the type of snakes that wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are … …

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and … …

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, … …